My father is an accomplished tax attorney and takes care of income tax for my brother Robert and myself. The letter below represents what is, in my opinion, one of his most creative and hilarious responses to the IRS in the wake of an outrageous case of mistaken identity (or just plain absurdity) in a letter sent to my brother. No further commentary is necessary.
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April, 2012
To: Internal Revenue Service
Attn: Ms. LRE: Robert J. Gordon
Taxpayer Identification Number: XXXXXXXXX
Dear Ms. L:
My son, Robert J. Gordon, lives at XXXXXXXX Memphis, Tennessee, being the address to which
you sent two Certified letters seeking the collection of $57,000.00 on taxes owed on Form T30 and an
additional $1958.33 for taxes owed on Form 11C.
For your ease of reference, I am enclosing a copy of each of
the letters you sent which were dated March 28, 2012.
My son, who has developed a career as an author, playwright,
director and film critic , has no connection with any gambling enterprise
anywhere, and particularly in Nashville at the address indicated in the
material you sent.
You may learn more about my son, if you wish to, by simply Googlinq
his name on your computer and you will see his accomplishments, including a Grammy
Award a year ago, as well as his authorship of a number of books, articles,
etc..
My son has no idea of the activities in the sporting world such
as football and other exhibitions described in the charges contained in the
proceedings which you forwarded to him.
It is unfortunate that your office did not bother to look further
into the matter before sending this letter which caused a great shock to my
son, his wife and their children.
In fact, I do not know if you have funds available, but it would
be very kind if you were to replace the trousers that he wore on the day he
received and opened your communications. The trousers were a light, beige color,
tailor-made from fine linen, and absolutely ruined by the consequences of the
shock you imposed upon him.
For your information, the trousers were purchased at James Davis
Clothing Store on Poplar Avenue in Memphis, Tennessee, in February, 2012, for a
price of $125.00.
I will let you be the judge of what additional sums you feel
you should pay for the shock and the impact on relatively sensitive feelings of
a writer, director and editor.
At any rate, l will be most appreciative if you will forward
to my son or to me on his behalf, a letter acknowledging your mistake along
with a check for such amount as you feel is reasonable for the injury you have
caused.
I am sure you will agree with me that the mistake should never
have happened and would not have happened if anybody had simply performed the
most basic investigation by calling my son's home or Googling him on the
internet.
You were very gracious to allow Mr. Robert J. Gordon until April
30, 2012, to respond to your letter dated March 28, 2012.
In the same sense of fairness, I will appreciate your seeing
to it that I hear from you or my son hears from you no later than one month
from the date of this letter.
I am taking the liberty of sending a copy of this letter to my
Representative in Congress because I feel a great many of my taxpayer dollars
were squandered as a result of this mistake.
Thank you for your early attention.
Yours very truly,
Signature
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