Thursday, April 12, 2012

How to Handle an Outrageous Letter from the IRS - Hilarious

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My father is an accomplished tax attorney and takes care of income tax for my brother Robert and myself. The letter below represents what is, in my opinion, one of his most creative and hilarious responses to the IRS in the wake of an outrageous case of mistaken identity (or just plain absurdity) in a letter sent to my brother. No further commentary is necessary.

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April, 2012
To: Internal Revenue Service
Attn: Ms. L
RE: Robert J. Gordon
Taxpayer Identification Number: XXXXXXXXX

Dear Ms. L:

My son, Robert J. Gordon, lives at XXXXXXXX  Memphis, Tennessee, being the address to which you sent two Certified letters seeking the collection of  $57,000.00 on taxes owed on Form T30 and an additional $1958.33 for taxes owed on Form 11C.

For your ease of reference, I am enclosing a copy of each of the letters you sent which were dated March 28, 2012.

My son, who has developed a career as an author, playwright, director and film critic , has no connection with any gambling enterprise anywhere, and particularly in Nashville at the address indicated in the material you sent.

You may learn more about my son, if you wish to, by simply Googlinq his name on your computer and you will see his accomplishments, including a Grammy Award a year ago, as well as his authorship of a number of books, articles, etc..

My son has no idea of the activities in the sporting world such as football and other exhibitions described in the charges contained in the proceedings which you forwarded to him.

It is unfortunate that your office did not bother to look further into the matter before sending this letter which caused a great shock to my son, his wife and their children.

In fact, I do not know if you have funds available, but it would be very kind if you were to replace the trousers that he wore on the day he received and opened your communications. The trousers were a light, beige color, tailor-made from fine linen, and absolutely ruined by the consequences of the shock you imposed upon him.

For your information, the trousers were purchased at James Davis Clothing Store on Poplar Avenue in Memphis, Tennessee, in February, 2012, for a price of $125.00.

I will let you be the judge of what additional sums you feel you should pay for the shock and the impact on relatively sensitive feelings of a writer, director and editor.

At any rate, l will be most appreciative if you will forward to my son or to me on his behalf, a letter acknowledging your mistake along with a check for such amount as you feel is reasonable for the injury you have caused.

I am sure you will agree with me that the mistake should never have happened and would not have happened if anybody had simply performed the most basic investigation by calling my son's home or Googling him on the internet.

You were very gracious to allow Mr. Robert J. Gordon until April 30, 2012, to respond to your letter dated March 28, 2012.

In the same sense of fairness, I will appreciate your seeing to it that I hear from you or my son hears from you no later than one month from the date of this letter.

I am taking the liberty of sending a copy of this letter to my Representative in Congress because I feel a great many of my taxpayer dollars were squandered as a result of this mistake.

Thank you for your early attention.

Yours very truly,

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